Ms A

July 6, 2010

Finally I was assigned to my first patient after months of waiting. I was so excited last night that I couldn't go to sleep...couldn't stay asleep and couldn't wait for the alarm to go off. I got up 15 minutes before the alarm went off, took my shower got dressed and had a cup of coffee. I headed out the door not knowing how long it would take me to get where I was going so I left early. It was pouring down rain and I wasn't used to driving so early in the morning. I arrived at the house 1/2 hour early so I drove the street and parked. I pulled out my papers and reread everything I needed to know about my new patient. I called her husband and asked if I could come over early. I thought I would be nervous but I wasn't, I was excited to try to help someone have a happy day.

Ms A's husband greeted me at the door with a hearty handshake, thanking me for coming. He was a well dressed man not looking 80+ years old. He was very talkative and pleasant. The house was dated stuck in the 80's with the walls decorated in Home Interior's decor. The carpet was mauve and the furniture a mixture of blues, a piano covered with family photos. The room was a cross between home and hospital. There were signs all around showing that someone in the house had special needs for their care. He walked me through the house showing me the things I needed to know about. I was to give Ms A a pill at 10:00 am and help her out of bed and to the bathroom.

Ms A was a fragile lady no more than 90lbs. Her husband very tall and towered over her but there was a gentleness about his touch that spoke if his love for her. He took me in her room where she laid in bed from the night before. I introduced myself and touched her hand so she knew my voice. She was a little bewildered at first as one would be after being awaken to a stranger in your room. Her husband and I went back to the living room to talk as we listened for her on a baby monitor. He told me a little about their family. They have a son who lives in the basement with them now and was sleeping. I was glad he mentioned that to me because I would have freaked out if he had wandered up from the basement! They also had a daughter that died a few years ago from complications of diabetes. It must be really hard to bury a child. They also have one grandson and one granddaughter. I just listened to him talk for awhile, I felt like he needed to. He has no one to help him. He spoke of losing her, her passing, and making funeral plans. He knows that the time is near but I know he will be lost without her. He spoke of losing his father in law and his brother and how you think you are ready but you never are. I had an urge to hug him but did not.

I heard Ms A on the baby monitor. He went to check on her and she was ready to get up for the day. He helped her to the restroom and then carefully took her to her recliner. He had a pillow for her head and slowly raised the footrest so it wouldn't pop up to quickly and jar her. He then covered her with a blanket and made sure she had water to drink. You could see the love in his eyes. Her eyes were hidden behind dark glasses because she has a sensitivity to light. If I could have seen them I was sure her eyes reflected the same love for her.

I pulled my chair close to her recliner so she could hear me and see me. I asked them to tell me how they met. Ms A remained silent while her husband told me they met and business school. They were in a typing class together and he sat next to her. He noticed her name typed on her paper. The next class he made sure he was next to her again, this time he offered her his typewriter because it was better than hers. He was the only male in the class but she was the only woman for him! They married when she was 19 and have been together ever since. He was in the Army and spent part of his service in Korea while she stayed home and lived with her parents. They had a son and daughter 2 years apart. Their daughter became diabetic at an early age. Ms A helped to raise her grandson because her daughter was on routine treatments for many years. He just graduated from college and will marry this fall. Her granddaughter lives in California and has a 3 year old special needs child. I would have loved to hear more of her life story but she seemed to tired to talk. I sat with her for an hour after her husband left. I asked Ms A to tell me about herself but she said she would rather listen to me. I talked for awhile but I felt like maybe she needed to rest. We are told to learn to LISTEN this is their time to tell their story. It didn't work that way.

I noticed the TV stand was really dusty so I got a rag and wiped it down for them. Such a little thing to do. I felt helpless to do anything grand for them. I was just there...there to give her husband a little time with his co-worker. They have been having breakfast together for 25 yrs. He was able to get away for a little while knowing that his wife was safe...I guess that was all I could do for them today.

I stayed until her husband returned at 11:30. I was ready to go but reluctent also. I would never see Ms A again. I took her hand and thanked her for letting me spend the day with her. I told her I really enjoyed meeting her. She in her soft spoken voice she also thanked me. I turned to her husband resisting the need to hug him, I shook his hand and wished him the best.

Now she waits for the angels.....